The pressure to have ‘a vision’ (when you don’t actually need one

I hear this all the time: “I don’t really have a vision yet… is that bad?” And every time, I want to say — no. Not even a little bit.

Expecting yourself to know exactly what you want at the start of wedding planning is a bit like turning up to your first driving lesson already knowing how to reverse park… or walking into a restaurant and feeling pressure to order instantly without even seeing the menu. Some things just don’t work like that — they’re discovered, not decided.

Honestly, even with floristry, I didn’t wake up one day knowing my style. I didn’t sit down and choose “modern, sculptural, flower-packed”. It grew over time — through trying things, changing my mind, having conversations, seeing spaces, trusting my gut, and sometimes realising what wasn’t me before I understood what was. So when couples apologise to me for not having a clear floral vision yet, it always makes me smile — because that’s exactly where most people start.

Not having clarity doesn’t mean you’re behind. It usually means you’re still listening — to yourselves, to the space, to how you want the day to feel. And that’s where the best weddings come from. At Muse & Petal, my role isn’t to expect you to arrive with all the answers — it’s to sit in that in-between space with you and gently shape something that feels true. We build the vision together. Slowly. Intentionally. With room to change your mind.

If you’re feeling stuck, try this instead of forcing a vision:

• Describe your wedding in three feelings (not colours, not flowers).

• Write down three things you know you don’t want — this is often more powerful.

• Ask yourselves: what do you want people to come away saying or feeling about your day — and your flowers — once it’s over?

You don’t need to have it all figured out.
You just need reassurance that it will come.